Everything is fine... or is it?

Isn't funny how many times life seems to be going along well.  You...

• Enjoy your job 
• Are appreciated at work and getting well paid
• Feel loved by your family
• Are making progress in personal goals
• Feel like your spiritual life seems to be on the upswing

But...  Internally things seem to be falling apart.

• Your mind is scattered
• You easily take offense to minor things
• You're having trouble sleeping
• Effective communication seems harder and harder
• Feeling like pulling away would be the best approach 

What's the best way to handle this?

Blog envy is a baaaaaad thing

Not only have I not written in quite a while but I've tried to make myself all uppety and proper in keeping my distance. I was reading my sister's blog and I got cut down to size. Man she makes me laugh the memories she recounts, the internal dialogues all just tickle my funny bone like no other. It make me love her and miss her all the more. She has a great way of helping you see what she is thinking.

Some day I grow up to be like my little sister. - luv ya sis

A Case for a Montessori University

I wrote this essay while attending a university several years ago and taking a required general education course in English. I think it applicable even now to our current system of education. The system of lecture or in other words "Sit down, be quiet, and hear what I have to say because I know more than you - I will put my thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and knowledge into your head."

THE DEBATE

I'm not one to question a system or way of doing things unless I know of or discover another viewpoint. The results of my questioning may not necessarily be positive or beneficial to some but help me form my viewpoint.

My doubts concerning the educational system started with a book Einstein: His Life and Times by Philip Frank. I've always been interested in Albert Einstein because of his famous works but also his belief in God. I saw something of myself in him, in the way that he excelled in math and how he tended to keep an emotional distance between himself and other people.

In this book, I read about an event in Einstein's youth that particularly touched me. One day, Einstein and his parents were watching a parade. As soldiers marched by, Einstein commented, "When I grow up I don't want to be one of those poor people." Frank notes:

When the majority saw the rhythm of a happy movement, [Einstein] observed the coercion imposed upon the soldiers; he saw the parade as a movement of people compelled to be machines.

At this time Einstein apparently already revealed one of his most characteristic traits - his intractable hatred of any form of coercion arbitrarily imposed by one group of people on another. He detested the idea of the oppressor preventing the oppressed from following their inclinations and developing their natural talents, and turning them into automatons. (p. 8)

Einstein viewed his teachers as sergeants. He described his feelings about the elementary school system he went to; saying:

The pupils did not view the teachers as older, more experienced friends who could be of assistance to them in dealing with various problems of life, but rather as superiors whom they feared and tried to predispose favorably as possible. (p. 11)

As I read this last passage in the book, I began to wonder about the educational system - what I experienced in high school and what I'm experiencing in college. I began to question what the motives of my teachers have been and even to evaluate their teaching styles somewhat analytically.

To some degree, my questioning has made it more difficult to learn the material, because my concentration has been directed towards the messenger and not the message. One example of this conflict dealt with a recent class assignment in which we were required to read a particular text about the Khmer Rouge. In my mind's eye, I could almost see the atrocities as they were being committed - all the gory details of the awful massacre.

At our next class, we were asked to express our feelings about the book. I explained my discomfort with the book and asked why it had been assigned. This led to a discussion in which ideas and opinions about my comment were drawn out from the class. For the remainder of the class I found myself defending my position. I was surprised to have even been accused of a desire to censor books or thought as is described in the book Fahrenheit 451.

I had hoped for a more favorable response from my classmates or at least that my teacher might vindicate my ideas or help me come to terms with the book. Instead I was simply told that the book was 'the best choice for our class'. This dismayed me. I was no closer to a rationale for why the book was chosen and felt that no one had truly listened to what I said.

At the end of the class, I continued to talk with some of my classmates who seemed to understand my position. They saw that I was not rejecting the merits of the book but that I wanted to comprehend how reading it would help me and what benefit I was supposed to derive from it.

I gathered from the discussion after class that a few of the other students were supportive of my stance but had not been as vocal or bold in expressing their support. This led me to wonder if the teacher's intentions had not been thwarted by the system of education which we were raised under. It seemed that the teacher wanted to start an open discussion but he inadvertently biased the debate by having chosen the book to begin with, thus legitimizing the validity of its use.

In my view, our system of education is flawed. Students learn to mimic teachers' thoughts and what they say. Learning through mimicry is not always a bad thing: we learn to speak, eat, walk, write and do many other things through mimicry. However, when we reward students for copying the opinions of the teacher, we stifle their own creative thinking and discourage them from being unique, imaginative and independent. This conflict of interest brings about difficulties for the student who tries to be an original thinker seeking to find other ways to write and present ideas.

Even though the instructor tried to foster an exchange of ideas, the students seem to have tried to conform to the perceived expectations of the teacher. Those who tried to take the initiative were misunderstood or even looked down upon. The result was that the one idea that was assumed to be acceptable to the teacher, namely the choice of the book, needed no explanation from the teacher and dominated the discussion thus making the debate one-sided.

This leads me to wonder if we are not like the soldiers that Einstein saw, forced by the system and each other to comply to a set of ideas arbitrarily made for them. Do we fear our superiors and act deferentially to please them?

I have yet to resolve my feelings about this experience, leaving open that my view may not necessarily be correct. But, I believe I have learned that people should avoid the lemming attitude and voice their own opinions even when the majority dictates otherwise.

There is Always Hope

I wrote this back when I was living in Vail, Colorado. A very beautiful place that was impetus for some deep contemplation.

HOPE

Look to the sky on eagle wings.

See the majesty in all things.

Realize you are a part of everything,

The trees, the land, the cielo bleu.

Rush to the ground – falling fast.

Knowing all good things can't last.

Hit the ground with a crushing thud,

Pain, anguish, despair in the mud.

Look up to the sky and cry out loud.

Rest and mend those broken wings.

Hobble around for a bit,

Yet to fly again is worth the wait.

Life, Health and the Pursuit of Happiness

Life has funny twists and turns. The study of health and nutrition has been a bit of a hobby of mine. It started probably when I was younger and suffered from allergies among other things, but it wasn't until later when I was introduced to a 'Non-force' Chiropractor, Dr. Cathy Wong, by my sister-in-law that my curiosity was piqued. My sister-in-law along with Dr. Wong introduced me to more alternative/complimentary approaches to health.

Dr. Wong taught me that not all chiropractic is equal. The advantages to non-force chiropractic is that is doesn't stretch the ligaments like traditional chiropractic. Traditional chiropractic with it's "snap, crackle, pop", tends to stretch the ligaments which makes joints weaker and which makes that area that is adjusted more prone to going out of place again. Non-force chiropractic uses a gentle very specific pressure to put the bones back into place. I know it helped me greatly when I had "soft-tissue damage" as a result of a car accident.

One of the first things that intrigued me about this method of chiropractic care was the concept of muscle-testing. The idea behind muscle-testing is that your body has an innate intelligence that can manifest itself through changes in the length of the muscle. In my case mis-alignments were tested through the even/uneven length of my legs. The chiropractor touches the area in question and then checks for the body's response. What was really cool was the fact that this also worked in regards to supplements and food that the body needed or didn't need. You would hold in one arm the product in question and stretch out the other arm. The arm, with the product against you, gave your body the question. Dr Wong would then put a moderate amount of pressure downward on the outstretched arm. I would attempt to just keep my arm in place. If my arm stayed solid the product was something my body wanted if not it was not.

What's interesting about all this is that I read a book recently which extends the idea of muscle testing even further into the realm of emotions that become held in the muscles.

I learned from studying massage therapy the body can hold emotions (what I believe as being too much for a person at the time the emotion was originally produced so the muscle take up the slack). These emotions remain held or trapped in the muscles until such time as the person is ready and comfortable to deal with this emotion. This release of emotion can happen during a massage as the muscles relax - know in massage therapy as a S.E.R. (Somato-Emotional Release).

That book went through a more methodical approach to releasing emotions without having the fall-out of the emotion re-manifesting itself. (In massage therapy, the emotion when released can manifest itself in extremes as laughing or crying uncontrollably or other emotions.)